Integrating

John de Ruiter in the Netherlands (2012)

It's been a big week with lots of changes in my outer life and, since my cafe table talk with John,  plenty of opportunity to be different within, too. I do get, more than ever, how being in difficulty presents the opportunity for integration. By that, I mean the chance to be something other than the effect difficulty has on the smaller self; to be also something of one's being - that much more subtle tender okayness that is there in the midst of anything. I have vacillated this week between the accustomed (harder) small self's way of being and seeing when faced with situations which it does not like or want, to a deeper beingness - which leaves my self feeling uncomfortable and quite vulnerable at such times. Abandoning distortion for what I Know is True in my heart! Prolonged spells of difficulty have presented me with the opportunity for prolonged intimacy of being as well. 

It is good that I am able to trust John so much at times like this, as I am drawn again and again to my deeper beingness rather than allowing my self to close and to harden. 

It is clear to me that this life presents a stellar opportunity to develop my own being and to achieve my potential. I know it is possible to not let patterns run my life and that is why they appear; so that I can transform them in the way I've just described. And it is becoming ever clearer what is True and what is not. What I love and what I do not.

So as this ancient crust falls away, exposing a new vulnerable self, I am, as John would say, walking change. And that has more value that anything this world can offer in the usual sense.

Many thanks for your comments and questions - as always, please type new questions for John in the comments below this Post.

Until next time,
Love
Shanti