When words fail me

What do you write when words fail you? This is my dilemma this morning because yesterday evening I sat in The Chair facing John,  meeting him, and it was powerful to say the least.  It was such an event, that of course it is all I can think of to write about for this week's Post - but I'm struggling to describe it in a way that does what occurred justice ...

I had been putting my name down to go to The Chair for some weeks, including right through the last Seminar - so when I finally got to sit there, I was so ready, so thirsty.  When he looked at me - well, there's a discrepancy right there, because he doesn't just 'look' in the normal way people look - it is a piercing gaze unlike any other on this planet ... when our eyes met - I was immediately in a powerful vortex-like other-worldly journey with him.  I was so drawn in, drawn forward ...

As my heart began thumping I was pulled deeper and deeper into what was occurring, no thought in my head just a whirlwind of energy, taking me ... then as my heart gradually stopped thumping, there was a movement from deep within me moving out through my body to John and it had the sense or flavour of a deep longing.  Perhaps it was a combination of things but part of it was my deep longing for Truth, for what I Know John was coming from and inviting in me.  I rarely get emotional these days, but that was soon part of what happened because I began crying,  and then sobbing.  My sense of that was that it had to do with a deep opening in me.  Before I even locked eyes with John yesterday evening, my fervent prayer within had been to meet with him in a way that would be the most Good for All.  Yet this meeting with John was not to be about words; there was no compulsion to speak; there was nothing I could have said and yet the whole room was not far from my awareness. 

Once the sobbing subsided, I was left feeling so open and so deeply connected with John in the most intimate and immediate way ... I was so held by his benevolent power and mastery.  I was in good hands.

And then, it was reminiscent of my very first meeting with John in Canada back in April last year, as I once again marvelled at what he is, what he was showing me, what he was being and what he was doing - without moving, without speaking, without anything discernible happening on the surface at all ...

As my senses returned somewhat to something more normal (but I felt changed), I was ever so slightly shaking my head from side to side, just so awed by what I saw before me, by what I Knew, what I had experienced, what he had done with me, to me and for me ... and so grateful.  But I still could not speak, so I put my had over my heart and mouthed my words of thanks to him directly.  He held me in his gaze a little while longer, until I was completely - um, completed - that's how it felt - that something powerful, beyond words and mental understanding had most definitely transpired, and John did not 'leave' me until it was completed.

From the comments and hugs I received directly after the meeting ended, I was pleased to know that what had occurred had also powerfully and positively affected others in the room.  As one person said to me "It was so good."  Yes, it was so Good.

To end this week's Post, I want to encourage you - especially those who've not yet done so - to send in any question that you may have for John in order to be in the running to have it answered by him in the next dialogue.  As always, simply type it in the 'comments' beneath this Post.

Until next time,
Love
Shanti