Profound Knowledge

The above sketch was inspired by something John said about a year ago concerning Profound Knowledge remaining a drawer within until you integrate it into all of your life...

I've been experiencing so much difficulty of late that the only Real way to deal with it all - as John recently said - is to be at Home in the midst of it.  In this way Profound Knowledge is getting integrated into my self, my person and my life... It leaves my self feeling vulnerable whilst I am also compassionately OK and perfectly able to handle the pain and the Seeing.  And the Seeing is so good (and getting finer).  It is clear that hardening hurts.

We are now on day two of the Summer Seminar  and it is like being on a cosmic roller coaster all occurring within, Unseen and rearranging everything, so that Knowing can move in Us more and more and more... 

For those of you not here partaking of this Seminar, I am certain there will be some stellar CDs which will become available and which you will be able to order from the official John de Ruiter website in the near future (www.johnderuiter.com). And as always, please type any questions you may have for John in the 'comments' beneath this Post.

Until next time,

Love,

Shanti 

For Better or Worse...

John de Ruiter

"It is extraordinary 

that this world is better or is worse 

because you are in it... 

It's a measurable responsibility.

It's measurable that in this world 

you make a difference. 

This world is better off or worse off 

because of your having been in it."

John is back from Germany and the above quote, from Friday's meeting, was part of a talk which, to me, was a new take on Oneness.  The words were sweetly delivered, their meaning, clear.

Then on Sunday that familiar, somewhat uncomfortable, Knowing pull arose in me to go to the Dialogue Chair ... and I got to meet with John in the Deep once again. 

Oh, it is so good, so deeply good!

I had the sense that in addition to the goodness of being in beingness during difficulty, that it would also be good to meet John in the Deep to add some weight or ballast to my own Knowing.

When our eyes met and we connected, I felt the difference since we'd last met in the Deep; my own Knowing was more. And John was so dear with me.  I feel that our meeting did indeed add ballast to what I Know and to my ability to be able to come from Knowing more in my living. 

And all this before the Summer Seminar has even begun!  It starts this coming Monday and will last for two precious weeks ... click here for more information.

As always, if you have a question  for John, please type it in the 'comments' below this Post. 

 Until next time,

Love,

Shanti 

Integrating

John de Ruiter in the Netherlands (2012)

It's been a big week with lots of changes in my outer life and, since my cafe table talk with John,  plenty of opportunity to be different within, too. I do get, more than ever, how being in difficulty presents the opportunity for integration. By that, I mean the chance to be something other than the effect difficulty has on the smaller self; to be also something of one's being - that much more subtle tender okayness that is there in the midst of anything. I have vacillated this week between the accustomed (harder) small self's way of being and seeing when faced with situations which it does not like or want, to a deeper beingness - which leaves my self feeling uncomfortable and quite vulnerable at such times. Abandoning distortion for what I Know is True in my heart! Prolonged spells of difficulty have presented me with the opportunity for prolonged intimacy of being as well. 

It is good that I am able to trust John so much at times like this, as I am drawn again and again to my deeper beingness rather than allowing my self to close and to harden. 

It is clear to me that this life presents a stellar opportunity to develop my own being and to achieve my potential. I know it is possible to not let patterns run my life and that is why they appear; so that I can transform them in the way I've just described. And it is becoming ever clearer what is True and what is not. What I love and what I do not.

So as this ancient crust falls away, exposing a new vulnerable self, I am, as John would say, walking change. And that has more value that anything this world can offer in the usual sense.

Many thanks for your comments and questions - as always, please type new questions for John in the comments below this Post.

Until next time,
Love
Shanti

Going Deeper

John sat at my table in the café on Sunday and I shared a recent dream with him. It was about a black cloud negatively affecting others and how I tried to protect them by telling them to think positive thoughts. 

He said to me, ‘You can create that – and then you use your personality to fix things.’ 

It took a few moments, and then I got to see something in me that was very core to the way I related to my own self and to others. I was so used to it that it was like the proverbial fish in the ocean finally being able to see the sea. Yet in the seeing of it, I was more like a fish thrown onto the shore, gasping for air, for what I saw was shocking to the core. And the pitfalls were all around me just as fast. Like negative emotionality (I knew that crying would be a way to indulge/keep it), or wanting to understand it (‘why?’). And I knew that I’d been doing it for many many lives. What to do with this huge, somewhat devastating, Seeing? 

'Just be on the look out for it,' John said. 'You’ll be walking around like a small child, big eyed. Just look for it everywhere.' He also said that it was innocent. 'Yes,' I said, 'I’ve not been really conscious of it until this moment.'  

John said that it had to do with power and with being self absorbed. Yes, and I saw the connection with my sense of bigness and control and I remembered when I’d tried at times to not be so self absorbed and to be more caring of others... all from the self. And John confirmed what I already knew about that approach to things – it doesn’t work. But this was very different. This was much bigger; a huge, clear, deep, sharp Seeing.

It’s effects are still reverberating in me as I write and even though it has left my self feeling disoriented and vulnerable, it is, I Know, so good. I don't have to do that anymore. I'm on the look out for it but already it feels largely replaced by more tender beingness.  
 

Until next time,

Love,

Shanti