Dear ones, how's it going? It seems that for many of us, myself included, we are going through some difficult and challenging times. It's when the pressure is on that our old patterns kick in and that's the opportunity, although the experience feels terrible. And yet in going deeper within this past week, I have discovered again, the absolute wonderfulness within the terribleness. Let me share with you the main pattern currently being undone by me which is like two sides of the same coin. If this coin had a name it would be called 'taking things personally.' On one side are thoughts and feelings which would have me believe I'm some sort of victim (and believing such thoughts/feelings is quite depressing) and on the other side it's just as bad; anger (and after a flare up of that I feel bad in a different way). Fun pattern that one, not. Believing either side hurts; it hurts my own self, my system/body, it hurts others and it kind of poisons the very atmosphere (the unseen vibes and levels). The thing is and this is what I really want to share with you, none of it is true, none of it is true (it's worth repeating). Such illusory thoughts and beliefs are based on a level of 'I' that simply does not really exist; its only a pattern and it's in the system; it's partly genetic and it can all be undone right here and right now - it's all an inside job, that's the opportunity. Instead of believing such a pattern, feeling terrible and then striving for some release via outer happiness and thus some relief from that pressure and difficulty - no, no, the answer is within and only within! (and besides, outer surface happiness is fleeting and superficial). Instead, it's so deeply good to relax and let go of the tension, and in letting go of tension, we can relax into that wonderful tiny little bit that we always know the truth of that is always there and which we quietly know is somehow everything. It's everything because it's all that is truly deeply real; it's you, it's me, it's the truth! In not taking that illusory conditioned and even embodied level of 'I' to heart, we can move beyond it to what we know in our heart that is all deeper and not understood; there's no concept; there's no words, no thinking to get you there; it's there already, it's an altogether different orientation and when you are more gentled and quieted, you Know it. Without relaxing you cannot know it, if you are busy believing crappy thoughts (that two-sided coin) you cannot see what is true and real and oh, so good. It is so good to make that shift, it's everything and, secondarily, it makes you truly happy. I have been so happy this week whenever I have moved beyond that old conditioning and that happiness is so real and it reminds me of when I was a small child, so playful and free to love. How different, how wonderful - and of course the 'terribleness' is still there but in making that shift, I am relating so differently to such challenges that it no longer feels terrible at all, it's just something to take care of and do what I can. Because another secondary benefit which comes from making that beautifully simple, subtle and tiny shift, is that the real me is so much more capable of handling it all! Amazing - how much power we truly have when we soften into what is so quiet, so tiny, that it seems like nothing in the face of believing that illusory coin, that pattern of victim/anger - not me, not you and not true!
Love,
Shanti
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